Maxfundrive Extra Episode – Ask A Vet

MAXFUNDRIVE link: maximumfun.org/join

Because it’s #maxfundrive, here’s an extra episode made up of recordings of the “Ask A Vet” section from our live shows recorded in 2019.

Thanks to Mike Wozniak.

Characters

 * The Host
 * Bob Trescothick
 * Pip (audience member)
 * Cindy (audience member)
 * Sandra (audience member)
 * Bernard (audience member)
 * Tessa (audience member)
 * Jenny (audience member)
 * Bob (audience member)
 * Gwen (audience member)
 * Unnamed audience members x 2

Actors

 * Benjamin Partridge
 * Mike Wozniak
 * Audience members x 10 (though see trivia, below)

Ask a Vet theme song
Why does my cat look like Vincent Van Gogh? Why does this dog have a hat? Can I take it off? Why do these pigeons like to eat old ham? Is this really a horse or is it a scam?

Why does this lion have gills and fins? Why does my poodle like to eat from bins? Why is my bird filled with delicious juice? What do I do when my cow is on the loose?

Chorus: Vet, Ask a Vet Ask a Vet, Ask a Vet Ask a Vet, Ask a Vet Ask a Veeeeet

Vet, Ask a Vet Ask a Vet, Ask a Vet (I'm asking a vet) Ask a Vet, Ask a Vet (I'm down on my knees) Ask a Veeeeet

You gotta help me

Why does my cat look at me with disdain? Why is my goat in near-constant pain? Why does my toad seem to hate it when I smile? Why has my crab become infertile?

Why does my newt think it's a horse? Why is my rabbit overcome with remorse? Why am I getting attitude from my mouse? Why is there a pig in every room of my house?

Chorus

You gotta help me

Why has my rat grown leathery wings? Why is my hog wearing bejewlled rings? Why is my duck so out of control? Why does my finch like to puke in my bowl?

[First three verses repeat, overlapping with each other and the chorus]

You gotta help me You gotta help me You gotta help me

Trivia

 * While the questions from the audience are scripted, Mike Wozniak's answers as Bob are entirely improvised.
 * These clips had not previously been released, in part because - according to Benjamin Partridge - the sound quality "isn't amazing on all of it".
 * The clips come from three live episodes performed in 2019 at the Machynlleth Comedy Festival on May 4th, the Underbelly Festival London on June 1st, and the London Podcast Festival on September 15th (an edited version of which was released as Episode 51).
 * Two of the audience members asking questions sound suspiciously like Nadia Kamil (she has encountered a python in the bedroom) and Henry Paker (he bought wasps for his nephew). They aren't credited, though, so it may just be audience members who sound like the actors.
 * The actual episode title is #maxfundrive Extra Episode - Ask a Vet, but wiki formatting means this article's proper name can't begin with a hash/pound sign/octothorp, or a lowercase letter. Use "Maxfundrive Extra Episode – Ask A Vet" when linking.