Episode 27 - Live At The British Beefmen’s Luncheon

Mike Wozniak, Nadia Kamil, Henry Paker and Dave Cribb join in for this month’s episode which is an edited recording of a live show performed at the annual British Beefman’s Luncheon at the London Agriculture Festival.

Characters

 * The Host
 * Alan Trucks from Portsmouth (letter)
 * Julie in Southampton (letter)
 * Tim Bowl (letter)
 * Cliff Trent-Roberts
 * Christopher Onion
 * Pam Onion
 * Richard B. Sausages/Picasso Ali
 * Big John
 * Brian Tollbooth

Actors

 * Benjamin Partridge
 * Mike Wozniak
 * Nadia Kamil
 * Henry Paker
 * Dave Cribb

Beef is a Promise
Beef is a promise, a promise that’s never broke

Beef is confusing like a child telling you a joke

Beef is a feeling like a letter from a long lost friend

Beef is a miracle like a successful stag weekend

These four walls, no beeves in sight

This old man never giving up the fight

They can take away my liberty but they can’t take away my dreams

They can apply electric shocks to my balls

But they can’t take away my memories of beef

Beef is a promise, a promise to you and me

Beef is a choir that sings in harmony

Beef is a concept that we just can’t comprehend

Beef is a sunset that never has to end

These steel bars, no beeves in weeks

My poor soul, I feel like a freak

They can take away my liberty but they can’t take away my dreams

They can stick a power drill up my ass but they can’t take away my memories of beef

These cold nights, no beeves in years

I’d love to use a steak to wipe away my tears

They can take away my liberty but they can’t take away my dreams

They can slam my dick in the door of a van

But they can’t take away my memories of beef

Come with me to a land of beef

In my dreams I find sweet relief

Come with me where the sky is beef

And the ground is beef

And the people are beef

And the wind is beef

And the stars are beef

And the flowers are beef

And the cars are beef

And the roads are beef

And the cliffs are beef

And the sea is beef

And the trees are beef

And the wind is beef

And the moon is beef

And the grass is beef

And the rain is beef

And the beef is also beef

Come with me to a land of beef

In my dreams I find sweet relief.

Trivia

 * Mitchell’s hold a live family show every afternoon at the Kentucky Pellet Mill, including a rendition of Stanley Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket by their mascots, Alma the Steel Hoof Heifer and Snouty, the Grazex Pig.